So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
