We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
