getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
