the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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