I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
