How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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