We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
