That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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