do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
