there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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