piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize