did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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