Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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