I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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