some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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