I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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