dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
