the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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