Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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