I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
