..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
