you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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