ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
