Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Randomize
