this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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