Heybabeimwearingurpanties
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
