Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
