i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
