Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
