wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
