Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize