I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
