Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
