Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
