cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
