Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
