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yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
