I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
