break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
