Jerry, you need to find god
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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