i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
