every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
