We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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