Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
