i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
