I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize