I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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