Welp...herpes.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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