apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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