Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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