pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
