i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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