Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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