North Korea, Best Korea!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
