i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
