Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
