at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
