Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!

  (650): View more from California

  LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!

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  (415): WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!! (650): LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops! http://tfl.nu/mj23
  Replies (4) Good night (1145) Bad night (907)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm at derby!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

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  (847): I'm at derby! (847): The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time. http://tfl.nu/hrlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1425) Bad night (522)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.

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  (772): The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again. http://tfl.nu/7v1u
  Replies (28) Good night (667) Bad night (4895)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?

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  (720): New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future? http://tfl.nu/5rnd
  Replies (45) Good night (5370) Bad night (1187)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair

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  (647): hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair http://tfl.nu/2ava
  Replies (25) Good night (4090) Bad night (1080)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady

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  (250): there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady http://tfl.nu/zjtt
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (2386)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount

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  (845): I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount http://tfl.nu/tdiu
  Replies (9) Good night (3379) Bad night (935)
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  (310): View more from California

  Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me

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  (310): Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me http://tfl.nu/0v3x
  Replies (7) Good night (1568) Bad night (915)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

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  (630): you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka http://tfl.nu/av0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1471) Bad night (2240)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.

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  (920): Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling. http://tfl.nu/jjpj
  Replies (33) Good night (2367) Bad night (1145)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Career choice validated

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  (732): Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!" (732): Career choice validated http://tfl.nu/g765
  Replies (51) Good night (9540) Bad night (1019)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

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  (727): It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm. http://tfl.nu/84qt
  Replies (4) Good night (2068) Bad night (633)
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  (818): View more from California

  Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong

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  (818): Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong http://tfl.nu/kuq0
  Replies (4) Good night (790) Bad night (353)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.

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  (402): I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/7j2p
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (1197)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.

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  (248): Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds. http://tfl.nu/tb7m
  Replies (1) Good night (919) Bad night (522)

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