She went from zero to smokin in five shots
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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