you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy