: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
