if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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