Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
